精进：如何成为一个很厉害的人
对五年后的自己提问
强大的内区能力和你对自己的期许有关。大多数时刻需要聚焦当下，也需要少量着眼未来计划。思考五年后你会干什么，过什么样的生活。
五年的时间通常会跨越人生的下一个阶段。五年意味着你可以去思考有没有可能坚持做好一件有价值的事情，甚至把他做到极致。
Atomic Habits
The Fundamentals: Why Tiny Changes Make a Big Difference
The Surprising Power of Atomic Habits
Why Small Habits Make a Big Difference
It is so easy to overetimate the importance of one defining moment and underestimate the value of making small improvements on a daily basis. The difference a tiny improvement can make over time is astounding. You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than your current results. Your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits.
What Progress is Really like
Breakthrough moments are often the result of many previous actions, which build up the potential required to unleash a major change. Habits often appear to make no difference until you cross a critical threshold and unlock a new level of performance.
When nothing seems to help, I go and lokk at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split intwo, and I know it was not that last blow that did it-but all that had done before.
Forget about Goals, Focus on Systems instead
Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results.
Problem 1：winners and Losers Have the Same Goals
Goal setting suffers from a serious case of survivorsihp bias. We concentrate on the people who end up winning and mistatkenly assume that ambitious gols led to their success while overlooking all of the people who had the same objective but didn’t succeed.
Problem 2: Achieving a Goal is only a Momentary Change
Summary
- Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement. Getting 1 percent better every day counts for a lot in the long-run.
- Habits are double-edged sword. They can work for you or against you, which is why understanding the details is essential.
- Small changes often appear to make no difference until you cross a critical threshold. The most powerful outcomes of any compunding process are delayed. You need to be patient.
- An atomic habit is a little habit that is part of a larger system. Just as atoms are the building blocks of molecules, atomic habits are the building blocks of remarkable results.
- If you want better results, then forget about setting goals. Focus on your system instead.
- You do not rise to the level of youor goals. You fall to the **level of your systems.
青年发展
人有两套内心的动力系统，即欲望/欲念和恐惧。
现代社会大多数人都是靠恐惧驱动行动和生活，这形成了一种无形的精神压力，让人惧怕周围的环境和事物。对害怕的害怕形成了焦虑，在无形中消耗内心，让人失去行动力和自主性。当人处在焦虑的困境中时，尽管你没有做什么事情，但你还是感觉很累，活在一种漫无边际的惶恐和担忧中。靠欲望驱动可能是更好的，当然泛滥不受控制的欲望也是不利的。综合起来，欲望和恐惧都可以形成正反馈，因为趋利避害是生物本能。当它们具体时没有什么大问题，但当它们抽象化时，人就会变成一种概念性的奴隶。比如并不是渴求金钱所能交换的物质，并不是渴望美好的生活，而是渴望金钱本身。比如并不是渴望亲密关系和陪伴，而是接受不了无法结婚所暗示的失败结果。
不幸的是，青年的自身动机很容是被抽象化。在极端幽寂的环境里青年被灌输了你必须“赢”、“非常优秀”的概念，而难以接触具体的快乐，驱动力被外部赋予、要求。互联网媒介带来了信息过载，渲染了太多黑幕、极端个例，如果年轻人没有充分接触真实的社会，没有相抗衡的信息量和对社会的理解，那么世界在他们眼中就是一个庞大的黑暗莫测的世界。在这样一个环境里，一个普通人从心理上就像扁舟一叶，好像怎么走都是死路，怎么选择都是错误地。从动机的角度看，新一代人的困境，就是上面所说的欲念和恐惧都抽象化了。
在这样的困境里，一部分人选择躺平，一部分人既然无法得到认可的价值，就摧毁所有的价值，调侃、解构、看透、嘲笑一切。还有一种选择可能更加危险，他们用力量感代偿价值缺失的空洞，伤害他人就是证明力量最高效的方式。这也就是所说的仇恨共同体的心理机制上的来源。因此可以看到现在舆论场上很多现象，无非是上面三种选择的杂糅。很多事情无关对错也无关事情本身，它就是一种围猎游戏，让大家把目标聚集在一些毫无公共性的议题上，用大多数人所谓的正确围剿少数人，更何况这少数人并不一定多雾，可能仅仅是他们不招人喜欢，或者他们恰好代表了某种不让大家满意的事物。大家通过对这些立的靶子进行道德批判来进行名为正义得伤害，通过这观察这种伤害得产生观察被伤害者得恐惧或哀嚎来达到一种内心高潮。这在他们看来可能是惩恶扬善，但这其中包含着很多“我看见我伤害所以我存在我有力量“的阴暗的正反馈。
对这些选择的解法就是让你自己和你的生活变得具体。但是具体不是一种态度，而是一种能力，你需要拥有那个能够让你具体的事物，你需要见过真正美好的事物，你需要看见自己和别人才可能变得具体。而且很重要的是，你要有足够的心理空间、心理能量才能好好生活，不被消耗干净。我的一个解法可以理解为去做一个不精致的利己主义者，或者或不要过于执着于满足别人的期待，过于较劲于为正义谴责、为弱者发声、和丑陋的社会现象斗争。你应该更加吝啬地使用、消耗自己的情绪，补充、滋养自己的情绪，让自己感到些许满足、更有余力，思维更活跃，对人更敏感。